Tuesday, April 8, 2014

a bright green lawn

No not here
somewhere in empty land
where plans fall through
the cracks of giant picnic tables
it rained so heavily
we had to take shelter under the benches.
All is lost in the endless green grass
the blades like swords.
After the storm we manage 
to climb on top of the table.
Now we see 
they are everywhere, these picnic tables,
there's hundreds of them.
We explore the one we are on
jumping over the cracks
the wet wood slippery,
we find a heart carved into one of the planks
the wood chips big as our hands
still lay beside it
with the soaked crumbs of the meal 
 that we will 
share later this week

( photo today; looking up from under a tree, glittering insulators, currents unknown)

Monday, March 31, 2014

Kame Terrace


Is this a kame terrace?

But first:  yes Brain, i want to blog about my outings again. I ceased to do that when i started to write for a certain paper. Because i never kneSo i had to w what makes a story for the paper and what not. and...
whatever.

This weekend, i was enjoying the wild,  totally
Saturday, i climbed up  a mountain, following a skidoo trail. Till i came to the bare mountain side. From there it was pure glory, of polished patches of snow turned into ice, and exposed gravel. A down sloped icy wind blowing in my face. Finding a hot sunny spot behind some krummholz  ( tiny spruce trees growing above the treeline) to sunbath.
(another story is how i missed the skidoo trail, and ended up two hours trying to swim in snow, till i found it again)

Sunday i took the snowshoes, to avoid swimming in snow. And i went with  a friend from who i learned about Kame Terraces.  This one on a mountain  i can see from my roof, and the formation looks like writing on the mountain side.
We also talked crevices and crevasses. that's another story
We did find the old trail we were looking for, not knowing yet where it starts and where it ends, and who uses it, and who made it?





Monday, March 24, 2014

I do have a few pet peeves

And one of them is pills.
(this is not a poem btw)
What i wonder, who sold us on the idea that we need pills?
My answer to that question is actually quite obvious. Of course; how beautiful, i do not have to do anything to improve my life i can just pop a pill, and all will be well again.  ( this insight after my denial scam)

For me it already starts with vitamin pills.Why when we have all the money to buy food ( of which 50 % is thrown out, yes all of us, stocking our fridges just to throw out half of it) But why when we live in a society that is affluent. (yes Canada, and it is not the poorest among us that are taking pills) Why do we need to take pills, when we can choose to live healthy.

Then there is over the counter drugs. This is where my idea for this post started. A friend of mine was taking a certain drug. Her life still not perfect, someone made her aware of side effects. She stopped taking them and now she is doing much better.
I myself have taken ibuprofen or something like that, on occasion, and i probably will again. I am a whoosh and when i am in great pain and can't sleep. Can't sleep i say.  Sleep is often the best medicine.

And then the doctor, who studied medicine i always say, no where does it say  s/he studied healthy living.
I am just saying.  So apparently s/he knows a pill that just has the cure for you.

I always wonder why did we get sick in the first place?
Maybe first we should cut out whatever made us sick. Doesn't that make sense.
And what about finding out what actually hurts and why?

I have many methods of  finding out just that, ( i am not going into that now,  well writing poetry is one) a doctor is also just one of them. Kind of when i don't know or if i just want to know for sure, maybe it is something simple that a doctor has a test for, only than.

So i also wonder, when did we loose trust in our bodies? Our bodies an amazing thing, actually always in the works to make us better. Our body is that way. Pain a signal to stop. We cut ourselves, our whole system springs in action  to make us whole again.

Okay apparently most drugs that are prescribed by doctors are not about  physical health but  about mental health.
Not even anything wrong with the body and we take pills apparently in large amounts to make us feel better.

I know
Before it got taken of the shelves, my doctor prescribed me sudafed,  for some ongoing nasal congestion i had. I noticed that it actually lifted my spirits in a weird way. I stopped immediately. Why should i walk around all happy when i am not? ( I am still not smoking btw).

I think i have tendencies to be depressed.
 Over the years i have kind of learned what makes me feel good and i have learned some tools to get me there again.
Why would i want to keep doing what i don't like, take a pill and now feel happy about what i actually hate?????

( i am sorry if i offended some people, i am sure there is a time and place when we feel we have no other choice then to take pills.  And i feel compassion for those. And i do consider myself blessed that  at the moment  i do have that choice)

(The picture was taking a month ago, at the moment we have blue skies only)









Saturday, March 22, 2014

lynx

drifting in and out of sleep
a reoccurring nightmare, 
where i am getting old and still not found my man
the old spinster
her sisters, cousins
prettier more outgoing smarter
a moment later,
on a chair bolted to a ledge
i have the perfect view
it's a new dreamscape
one i have never entered
two mountain peaks 
vertically lining up, perfectly
connections are made
two ancient opposite truths coming together
morning light now bright daylight
the warmth of your body beside me
when did we loose the ability
to entangle as one
I fling my self out of bed
erase all evidence
and start over
with you

Monday, March 17, 2014

the stage is set

I cut a tree today
by hand
My husband cut a tree today
22 inches diameter
the rings suggest 100 years old
I need clarity
the view is getting obscured
His tree deep in our forest  
I didn't even know it existed
so big and i didn't know
 I am sure it opened up something in someones heart
I couldn't see it 
That was not his intention anyway
I went for a walk that evening
A friend and i we walk
she in a city far away
I here
I always lacked will-power
we  support each other
An evening stroll for me
in my slippers
slippers in snow
because boots are too much work
they are for the morning
when i know how to live
She for her reasons
  successful today
45 minutes
My walk much shorter
It was quiet
totally quiet and no movement
Walking onto a stage
The colors where just right
They did dim the lights
and the colors of the ceiling changed
The only way i knew my life was real
 was by the cool air on my cheeks
No kisses tonight
And that tree i cut
much smaller as his
it was hard, the sap maybe running
the saw blade kept getting stuck




Monday, March 3, 2014

the empress revealed

my love my love you are i am
what is this serum you injected in our veins
what do i need to know to put upon that alter
of roses, horse hair,  
white feathers floating down
pulling hard
to slide my naked legs onto the stallions back
my hands so rough
from steel locks frozen cold
holding now your manes
it's an orange liquid
your thrust is hard, i wince
pounding it reaches our fingertips
and from there we are the world
what a life! we say
we are wise, like toddlers having tamper tantrums
all is glorious as steam
creates a golden glow